Other Sites
XYDEXX
Xydexx's Livejournal Anthrofurry Infocenter Xydexx Institute of Squeaks Xydexx Directory of Things Xydexx @ Breakneck Mtn. | Xydexx's Axiom Of Fandom Enjoyability |
|
Ever wonder why some people end up hating furries and furry fandom while everyone else is enjoying it? Perhaps it's all a matter of perspective. Attached below are several essays I posted to LiveJournal ruminating on the subject after noticing how the Big Complainers in this fandom tended to flock together. Was it possible that things in the fandom weren't that bad, and they had just created an echo chamber to reassure each other how horrible the fandom was? What we see depends on what we look for. If all you look for is bad things, eventually that's all you'll see. Although my LiveJournal is currently friends-only, I thought it would be beneficial for those interested to be able to read the essays. Part 1: April 18, 2002The following is a public service message.Xydexx's Theory Of Fandom Enjoyability states thus: If you hang around with a bunch of people who go around saying how much furry fandom sucks, you will eventually start to believe it's true.You know the type, they're all part of the same sad downward spiral and it's best to avoid them before they drag you down too. It's all a lot of wallowing in angst, because they think it's cool to say everything sucks for some reason. They continually reaffirm each other that furry fandom sucks, yet they're still here, whining and complaining and miserable, and can't understand why other people are having such a good time. Here's a clue: We're having a good time because we hang out with cool people and not the folks who want us to stay with them on Planet Misery. Ultimately it's up to you what path you want to take, and what you want to get out of this fandom. You get back what you put in, and inevitably that will lead you to finding cool and interesting folks to have fun with, or grumpy curmudgeons to be miserable with. I prefer the former, myself. Jim Doolittle said it best. Part 2: May 7, 2002Xydexx's Theory of Fandom Enjoyability states thus:If you hang around with a bunch of people who go around saying how much furry fandom sucks, you will eventually start to believe it's true. I've come up with a diagram that illustrates the point further:  On the one hand, we've got (for lack of a better term) the Cool Furries. These are folks with a positive attitude toward the fandom. They stick around because they get back what they put into the fandom, and generally have a great time in it. They tend to avoid the Big Complainers, and spend time in the company of other Cool Furries instead. And the more Cool Furries they hang out with, and the more fun they have. This is an upward spiral. As the saying goes, "The More The Merrier." On the other hand, we've got (for lack of a better term) the Big Complainers. These are folks with a negative attitude toward the fandom. They complain how the fandom sucks, yet for some reason they stick around (so I guess it doesn't suck that much, does it?) They tend to drive away the Cool Furries, and instead attract other Big Complainers. And the more Big Complainers they hang around with, the more miserable they get. This is a downward spiral. As the saying goes, "Misery Loves Company." Cool Furries hang out with Cool Furries and Big Complainers hang out with Big Complainers because they think "Here's other people who think like me, therefore I must be right." To a certain extent, each of them are right---the fandom can be either a really cool place, or it can be a really sucky place... it all depends on what you make of it. Personally, I like hanging out with the Cool Furries. They're a lot of fun. Part 3: January 8, 2003I was talking with Giza on FurryMUCK earlier today, and he mentioned something that got me thinking about furry fandom's self-image problem (as opposed to image problem, which while it could be better, really isn't that bad... but that's another story).Every now and then, I'll stumble across someone saying "I don't like furries because they're [angsty/whiny/irresponsible/in-your-face/insert random bad qualities here]." (For clarification, that isn't a quote from Giza, it's just an example of the attitude I'm talking about.) I maintain that's not a Furry thing, that's an Idiot thing. There's people with bad qualities in any group. Being in furry fandom doesn't have anything to do with that. Now, I'll admit part of the reason I've never been able to understand that attitude is because I only hang around with cool people, so maybe I'm biased. I've no doubt there are bad people in the fandom, but in my experience they've been the exception, not the rule. Consider this similar example: Someone who had just gotten started on LiveJournal was lamenting that they didn't see what what so great about it---all it seemed to be was lots of drama and people being angsty. Out of curiosity, I checked their Friends list, and he was right... there was lots of drama and angst. No wonder he was complaining! The funny thing is, that was more a result of hooking up to angsty people than a quality of LiveJournal. I am reminded of the Discordian Sermon on Ethics and Love. ("WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?" "But nobody wants it! Everybody hates it." "OH. WELL, THEN STOP.") Or, as Al Goldman said: If your life is full of evil people, then you need to find new people. Life, like furry fandom, LiveJournal, or pretty much anything else worth doing, is what you make of it. Folks can choose to surround themselves with negative people so they can feel justified in complaining about how miserable things are, but I'd say they don't have a realistic perspective. The argument could be made that I don't have a realistic perspective, either... but keep in mind I'm not the one who's complaining about it. -:) Part 4: April 28, 2005Someone on my friends list mentioned the latest siren song for one of those groups for jaded furries. You've probably seen this sort of group before; the ones where folks who are jaded with the fandom can go to get reassurance that the fandom sucks (while, y'know, the rest of us inexplicably continue having a good time). These groups are usually full of unpleasant people. But then they're sort of self-fulfilling prophecies that way, aren't they?It's been a while since I've written at length about the State Of The Fandom, but let me tell you a little story. A parable, if you will: Once upon a time, there was this guy who had a popular zine and was on convention staff and wrote a file that was considered standard reference material by many, including me. He was known and respected by many in this fandom. He was on top of the world. The only problem was that he didn't want to Play Well With Others. He was here first, after all, so why should he? He was King Of The Sandbox! And that meant he didn't have to share the fandom with... those people. So he started a crusade to drive those people out of the fandom. Even though those people hadn't done anything wrong, and had every right to be there. And eventually, after countless flamewars, he finally realized those people weren't going away. So he quit. Or maybe he gave up. Or maybe he just turned tail and ran. He posted a dramatic farewell message, and waited anxiously for pleas to stay that never came. Out with a whimper. Where is he now? Well, these days he's bitterly grumbling amidst piles of dusty remaining copies of his zine that nobody wants to buy, complaining about all he did for the fandom—and how the fandom owes him something. He's that Guy Who Used To Be A Big Name, but is now just a grumpy "ex-furry" who few people remember.1 He made a big show of leaving the fandom2 3, but he's still surrounded by a small handful of folks who are in it. He's managed to eliminate things from his life that give him no joy, but he's had a very difficult time in replacing them with things that do give him joy. The problem, however, is not that joyful things aren't out there. As I've said previously, furry fandom, like life, it what you make of it. What we see depends on what we look for. And if people are jaded about the fandom, I'm sure the solution is for them to hang around with a whole bunch of other disgruntled people, right? Right? 1 I could tell you his name,
but most of you would probably reply with "Who?" Many of you have,
actually. So I'll save him the embarrassment and not mention his name
the way he still mentions mine...
2 Of course, when he left he predicted furry fandom was doomed anyway. And we are. I mean, just look at what's happened since Mr. Guy Who Used To Be A Big Name left the fandom: The fandom has grown by 30%, there are more furry conventions out there than ever before, we've raised record-breaking amounts for charity, we've gotten some of the best press coverage ever, Stan Sakai attends furry conventions again, and furry fandom is on the verge of becoming The Next Big ThingTM. We're doomed, I tells ya! DOOMED! -:) 3 After his dramatic exit from the fandom, he re-appeared about a year later to remind us that he had left. I swear, some people like leaving the fandom so much they never stop leaving... Part 5: June 9, 2006It's been a while since I last talked about the State Of The Fandom, and as I've been pretty busy the past week or so all the stuff I've wanted to post here have just been piling up in the background. So this is going to be long and rambly.Our time has comePointing out the good press furries get is a thankless job, but someone has to do it:
You heard correctly. Over The Hedge? A movie with furries in it. Care Bears? A musical with furries in it. Hey, just the other week there was an article about Second Life that defined furries as "cuddly talking animals." We've got a good thing going here, folks. Our time has come Chipotle and Norman Rafferty made some very well-thought out posts earier this week, entitled Those People and Debunking Furry Myths. They are well worth a read. (The entry which prompted those, not so much, so I'm not linking to it. It's basically just a disgruntled fan who feels the need to take out all his frustrations on the rest of us, and who needs that?) I recently stumbled across a little something I wrote about this back in 2004, but oddly enough hadn't archived it in my journal: Do you know why people feel the need to say they're leaving the fandom? It's because then all the other people who've "left" (but are still here!) will give them the attention they want. Actually, I don't know. That's just a (probably pretty accurate) guess. Maybe they just don't have the courage to admit when they're wrong? They keep saying how furry fandom is such a horrible place, yet the fandom continues to grow every year. They bemoan the "decline of the fandom" even though they haven't attended a furry con in half a decade; meanwhile, everyone else is busy going to cons and creating stuff and having a good time. Eventually, they have no choice but to warn us of some mythical Hiroshima Cluehammer that's going to destroy the fandom once and for all, and try to convince everyone to turn tail and run away. "Away! To the hills! Only the strong will survive!! Who's with me???" Except most people in this fandom are too busy going to cons and creating stuff and having a good time to notice. And years later, they're still going to cons and creating stuff and having a good time, because the mythical Hiroshima Cluehammer never showed up. (Or, wait—maybe it did and we were all too busy having a good time to notice! Oh no! We missed it!) Either way, everyone's having a good time. Well, everyone except the guy who said he was leaving. He's still hanging around and wondering why everyone else is enjoying themselves. Xydexx's Instead, go find someone who likes the fandom who shares your interests (unless you're only interested in looking for things to complain about, in which case none of what I'm saying will work for you) and hang out with them. Don't be shy. Most folks in the fandom are pretty friendly, except for a few grumpy folks who only want to hang around with other grumpy folks. Go bounce ideas off each other and Do Something. Draw some art. Publish a zine. Write! Create! Build! Explore! Dream! Soon, you'll have all the attention you ever wanted without the messy counterproductive psychodrama or pointlessness of "leaving the fandom." It's furry fandom. Love it or change it. CAN YOU FEEL THE POWER NOW! |