W

How do you divert the public's attention from a scandal? Start a war.

I had heard a lot of good things about this film, but it turned out to be an old-person's movie. By that, I mean that kids, teens, even young adults will find it boring. It's a stream of conversation, a weak comedy act that happens to have a light plot. There is no silence in the movie, the characters are talking non-stop in every scene. The humor is the sort that you laugh politely at when your fellow conversationalist makes a funny. This is a movie for mature adults who like Dustin Hoffman and Robert Deniro and want to see them do a stage act together with cameos from Willie Nelson, Denis Leary, and other forgettable roles, including an all-too-short 4-minute appearance by William H Macy, one of my favorites.

**1/2 out of *****

Wallace & Gromit's first full-length movie

Wow, you just don't get much closer to perfection than this. The subtle-yet-hysterical comedy team of man & dog have managed to sustain a full 80-minute feature without losing an iota of the charm, wit, or interest that made them stars to begin with. This painstakingly, lovingly-made stop-motion feature has made Aardman to model animation what Pixar is to CG animation. The execution is flawless, the facial expressions (the root of their comedy) are pinpoint accurate, and there are so many jokes and homages buried inside hitting at a constant, rapid-fire pace that it never becomes dull. Add in a fantastic dose of action, an obviously well-researched theme with deadeye comic parody, classic comedy timing, inoffensive universal humor that doesn't pander to any social or age group, and an ability to creatively manipulate standard cliche to generate a unique spin and this film has bought itself instant classic status. Ingeniously clever. I bought it before I saw it and it didn't let me down. One of the best animated movies ever.

***** out of *****

Talking heads dis Wal-Mart

If you've seen the earlier films of Robert Greenwald, including "OutFoxed" or "Unconstitutional" (or any of the "Un-" series), then you may think you know what you're in for. But what should be a damning condemnation of unethical, irresponsible, and potentially illegal actions by the target of the documentary is, in this case, merely spliced and edited interviews with employees, ex-employees, and people who've been affected by Wal-Mart's presence and existence. There is no narration whatsoever, leaving the people to speak for themselves which is in turns mind-numbing and unrevealing. It's like having a crowd of people complain to you for 90 minutes. While their issues are valid, one would hope that someone official to the film would inform you, at least in summary, of what these people are trying to say. Instead, we get brief, animated, textual bullet points on occasion. The film made a significant mistake in presentation and is not as effective as it could or should be. What it reveals is shameful, but how it reveals it is not motivational.

** out of *****

Rendered Pakistani-American returns as suicide bomber

The idea of the film is that a Pakistani-American minding his own business on the streets of the US is rendered secretly to the Middle East where he is tortured for three years over his associations with protestors. When he finally escapes, he joins a suicide bombing outfit to enact revenge against the US. This film is depressing. So so so depressing. Every main and supporting character is pitiable and arguably justified. As the movie progresses, our anti-hero is met with repeated crises of confidence - you, as the viewer want him to fail, even though what he's doing is almost understandable. It sends an anti-government message against both sides which blindly abuse the characters using current policies. There are no heroes, there are no winners, everyone loses. The worst part is that it's based on today's news and is an entirely believeable series of events. Extremely well-conceived. This movie literally gave me nightmares.

**** out of *****

Modernized adaptation of H.G. Wells' novel

There hasn't been a really good big-budget sci-fi thriller in a while, and this movie fits the bill quite nicely. Actually, it really plays out as more of a survival horror film with a massive FX budget. There are enough scenes of apocalyptic carnage to satiate any end-of-the-world movie buff (like me!). The scene with the train is absolutely priceless, not to mention frighteningly surreal - very much like the cows in Mars Attacks. The film appears to lift bits from other movies rather gratuitously, including the water tentacle scene from The Abyss. Tom Cruise does an above-average job in his role, acting suitably threatened and on the verge of a breakdown. However, the broken-family aspect doesn't just feel tacked on - it is tacked on. Parent/child squabbles are more of an interruption or an opportunity for a bathroom break than plot progression. I would've much preferred Cruise playing solo, like in the book, but Spielberg just has to traditionally weasel that family-friendly element in. The film has pervasive plot holes as well, some significant gaps in logic and storytelling that test the boundaries of the viewer's ability to overlook them. Luckily, the movie is a great enough rollercoaster ride that it's possible to press past them to a notable degree. Definitely an imperfect film, but its intensity makes up for some of what it lacks.

**** out of *****

Media behavior during the Iraq war

This documentary is yet another entry in the left-wing train of anti-war, anti-establishment films that have come out in recent years. It focuses mainly on how the media went along with the administration during the run-up to and during the Iraq war itself. It has the requisite swings at FOX, of course. The director spends a lot of time trying to be Michael Moore, running around with a microphone and asking important people gotcha-type questions. Unfortunately, he never focuses on any specific incidents - instead, he breezes by the whole concept at a high level, so the whole film comes across as an op-ed rather than a factual investigation. One of the weaker liberal docs about the war.

**1/2 out of *****

Buddy movie + awkward comedy

If you've seen Meet the Parents and didn't like it, stop here and don't rent the movie. The comedy here is exactly in the same vein, as well as American Pie and Something About Mary, i.e. based on awkward moments. If you liked Meet the Parents, well, you may still not like this film. It's got almost the same plot as the aforementioned Ben Stiller carrier - uncomfortable experiences with new family while falling in love - but our protagonists are anti-heroes and they spend more time playing off each other than they do interacting with the family. In fact, the family, led by good ol creepy Christopher Walken, seems only to exist for comic relief. Mainly, Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn rattle off dialogue against each other in an only semi-amusing fashion that is more snarky than entertaining. What it all comes down to is that the jokes simply aren't that funny. The only ray of light is Isla Fisher as the clingy, semi-psychopathic girlfriend - funny in almost every scene. I'm not certain what propelled this film to last as long as it did at the box office.

** out of *****

The bottom line for this 13-episode, quickly-cancelled Saturday morning kids series is that, if you liked Weird Al in the 90's, then you'll probably enjoy this set. It's got the standard crazy, non-sequitur, absurd humor you may remember from before he got Lasik and cut his hair. While the show was aimed to appeal to 12-15 year olds, it would've been accessible to adults who appreciated Al's comedy just as well, except that studio executives pretty much gutted the original intentions and tried to water it down for 3-5 year olds. The result leaves the show with a bit of a pandering, amateur, toddler-ish feel much of the time, i.e. watching this show probably isn't cool. But if you don't care about being cool, it's still quite funny and, as a rarity, comes with commentary for every episode that's actually worth listening to! Great for fans and friends of hamsters.

***1/2 out of *****

Botched burglary

This movie looked and felt a lot like The Ladykillers, same type of characters doing the same kind of criminal antics. Unfortunately, the Ladykillers was a lot better. While eccentric, the characters in Collinwood are merely odd and their antics become normalized due to a lack of development during the film. Main characters established in the beginning are abruptly cut out in the middle under very flakey circumstances. The movie almost seems to be about getting rid of characters rather than utilizing them. Events occur without explanation and are only relayed as afterthoughts, if you manage to catch them. George Clooney has the least-deserved screen credit I've seen since Samuel Jackson in True Romance. The anticlimactic ending doesn't even make it seem worth the trip. It's a light comedy of misfits, but barely a film in itself.

** out of *****

Leaving the nightlight on.

Another selection for the fluffy, campfire ghost story series of low-budget scare films that've been pouring forth lately. This one doesn't even seem to have a moral to it. It's almost entirely gore-free and relies on boo-scares to make you jump. It mostly plays out like a hyped up X-Files episode and is, of course, hyper-predictable. The FX critters are only mildly scary since we've seen a whole lot worse before. Only worth renting if you've run out of anything else to see.

** out of *****

Robots gone wrong disaster flick

When the film starts out, it's achingly sparse and painfully cheesy in set design. Once the film gets going in the destination setting, it's much more authentic - as if they'd only built the first sets as afterthoughts. This was part one of our Michael Crichton-fest and, while dated, it still had some entertaining moments. It also could've used a few less moments, as the impending climax becomes obvious only 30 minutes into the film, but the next 40 minutes are repetitions of the identical foreboding. There's a lot of humor in the movie, too, which helps it remain enjoyable. This was also the first use of CG imagery (the gunslinger's viewpoint), so it's neat to see how far things have advanced.

*** out of *****

Girl's attempt to become first female tribe leader

This is a very pleasant film, it's quite inoffensive and definitely accessible by both parents and kids without being an adult movie or a kiddie movie, which is a very unique thing for an independent film. The kids will have to try and handle the slow pacing however, since the film unravels one plot point at a time, expounding critically and sometimes emotionally. It's also an excellent jumping-on point for learning the history of Maori and New Zealand. A very satisfying story.

***1/2 out of *****

Metaphysical docudrama

If there was going to be a movie about 'hooey', this would fit the bill perfectly. It takes a rather banal drama and interrupts it frequently with theoreticians rambling off questionable new age philosophies that are on the ball only about half the time. When they're talking about fundamental truths, such as the biology and chemistry of the body and conclusions drawn from it, it's an interesting science lesson. But far too often, intangible tangents are drawn off that, and the discussion turns into something resembling Dianetics or factless faiths/beliefs. The film is loaded with CG and special effects, demonstrating that any dull-as-rocks subject matter can be jazzed up to be compatible with the general public if you give it to Jerry Bruckheimer. In fact, the middle of the film diverts into true comedy, with dancing Flubber-like representations of biological functions. Don't ask.

** out of *****

In addition to "Grave of the Fireflies", this film, about an elderly couple and their inability to deal with the onset of nuclear war, was billed as one of the most depressing pieces of animation to have graced the screen. Unfortunately, it's extremely out of print and not available on DVD in the US. Thanks to the Internet, however, I was able to download a copy for the experience. I will grant that the film is definitely saddening, but it's preceeded by deeply dry, and black british humor in the first half or so. We found ourselves laughing, despite the anxious anticipation of knowing what was to come before the film's end - perhaps as the director originally intended. The animation is very interesting, appearing to be a stop-motion environment with characters drawn to interact with it. The characters' design is nothing to shout about, but it's the story that's the focus of the film rather than the animation itself. There is little action and much dialogue, so it tends to fall into the artsy category and centers almost entirely around the couple's household. The film is an experience rather than a pinnacle, and considering it was made during the cold war in 1986, it may seem a little dated. depending if you read the news or not.

*** out of *****

Ol' cross-dressing comedy routine with a twist

Ok, I'm somewhat ashamed. Lowbrow comedies, done properly, make me laugh. Old Jim Carrey, Chris Farley...milk will still shoot out my nose when I see a *good* fart joke. Well, this film's quite a guilty pleasure. While it is bottom-of-the-barrel humor, it's not quite scraping the bottom. It's really only funny when the two black actors are faking it in white girl dress-up, otherwise their acting is surprisingly poor. There's no Oscar content here, it's all fluff from beginning to end and borderline insulting. Plenty of "Ew!" moments and it's all about the suspension of disbelief. Definitely funny, but it won't garner you any respect for having seen it.

*** out of *****

EVP thriller

The central weapon of this film is EVP, Electronic Voice Phenomena, wherein dead people contact the living through static in audio and video devices. I seriously get creeped out by scary, unknown noises (Signs, Event Horizon, Alien, etc) so this was particularly effective on me as a scare tactic. The first two-thirds of the film were great, almost a detective whodunnit. Unfortunately, the last third of the film trailed off and became a plot-hole-ridden schlock-fest of interminable special effects and non-endings. There was a lot of potential here to be a classic in the vein of Shyamalan-type films, but it was not to be. It's good for the scares and it makes you want to read about the (bogus) subject matter. Michael Keaton's looking old.

*** out of *****

This documentary explores the life and fate of several lines of electric cars that were almost brought into production, but abandoned and recalled at the last second. The film spends a large amount of time casting blame in many directions. At the end, it resolves these by passing summary judgement on each of the accused, something I'm not entirely sure a documentary should be doing. Nevertheless, as many left-leaning docs have done recently, it serves up a huge dose of rather damning circumstantial evidence against car companies, the government, California officials, the oil industry, and even consumers themselves. The whole show runs like a car commercial itself, featuring scenes of zippy EVs on the road, trying to sell something that no longer exists. It's quite educational, but unfortunately the content is now historical rather than a call to activism.

***1/2 out of *****

Hit man moves into suburbia.

The film starts out slow enough, but picks up rather abruptly with the entry of Bruce Willis. You'd never know it was Matthew Perry playing the slapstick bumbler, and doing it hilariously. His inept mannerisms pretty much steal the show with giggly clumsiness and innocent ignorance. The film doesn't have much of a climax and the tense parts aren't really tense, but this is a comedy, not a thriller. It's mostly fluff and seems to know it. Watch out for the sequel in 2004. Worth a rental if you need some laughs.

*** out of *****

Sequel to Whole Nine Yards

This was a very silly and rather forgettable movie. Don't get me wrong, it had a lot of slapstick humorous moments and we laughed quite a bit, but it was very unsophisticated physical humor, including your standard fart jokes. The bad guy was pretty wildly caricatured, to the point of being cartoony. The plot was also very convoluted and we were left saying 'huh?' at the end - luckily, the film spelled it out for us right before the credits, which it shouldn't've had to do. Basically, it's an afterthought to the much better original film, tho it's worth seeing for giggles if you liked the first one.

**1/2 out of *****

I originally came to enjoy Whose Line when the reruns of the UK show were airing on cable in the early 90's. Many members of that cast continued on into the new US show, hosted by Drew Carey. The show features several improv games by experienced comedians. There are a finite number of games that are played, some funnier than others, and a subset are used in each show, repeated over the course of many shows. In most cases, the results are laugh-out-loud hysterical. Everyone probably has their favorite people in the show; I'm partial to Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie, Greg Proops, and Brad Sherwood. Musical improvs tend to be the least funny of the skits, seemingly included solely by executive request, and any cast that includes a guest comedian is almost always sure to shoot several blanks. The amount of laughter the show generates for the frequently funny bits is well worth it. For whatever reason, the seasons are split into two separate DVD sets, this being the first half of season one. Be sure to watch the deleted scenes and gag reels, which are just as funny as the kept scenes.

**** out of *****

Mainly Iraq

At the end of his presidential term in 1961, President Eisenhower left an alarming premonition for America in his farewell address: beware the military-industrial complex that arose from the previous two world wars. He saw what they could do, what they wanted to do, and what they were planning. Almost fifty years ago, he saw it coming and we did nothing. Today, his greatest fear has come true. While this film's title suggests a much loftier rationale and a historical view, it's focus is on Iraq and the perpetual war machine that has been created by corporate power. Most of the documentary is spent explaining that wars are fought because of not only the corporate financial gain from producing war-making machinery, but also due to the men who build governmental structures designed to perpetuate it (read: PNAC). It includes talking heads from both sides of the fence, but the film is clearly geared towards presenting the opinions of the left - if only they didn't make so much darn sense. I would have preferred a more broad overview of history, but for what it is, the film makes its points distinctly and you can't argue with its facts. Terribly depressing and hope-crushing. If only we'd listened.

**** out of *****

The thing that bugs me most about this film is that they spent so much painstaking effort to make the animals look as real as possible, like actual animals rather than cartoon ones - and then they subject them to Tom & Jerry-style physical gags. The visually jarring mismatch is disturbing to watch and somewhat gross at times. I already knew that the plot was pretty much hacked straight out of "Madagascar" and "Lion King" (they even feature a marquee for the play, as if rubbing it in), but this is no Dreamworks or Pixar. The humor is deeply bland and weak, and the characters are ingratiating or plain obnoxious rather than appealing. The lone character I enjoyed was the hyrax, whom I learned was just a guy on the production team who had a funny voice - that says a lot about this film's development. Vaguely humorous, visually unappealing, and sloppily written.

** out of *****

San Francisco's parrots

This relatively upbeat film would be a nature documentary on a flock of wild parrots living in San Francisco if it weren't for the fact that nearly all the information you receive is provided by the unemployed, homeless guy who takes care of them. He knows them by their characteristics and gives them all names. When they're sick, he cares for them. And in return, they all flock to him for frequent feedings, making him a tourist attraction in himself. It's a very fluffy piece without much large-scale impact, very localized. It's neat to see the close-up studies of individual birds as well as their social web with both him and each other that you'd never notice in passing. It has some heavy moments near the end, but still finishes on a neat high note. A very nice local story.

**** out of *****

Cute widdle fwuffy rats KILL EVERYTHING

In a reprise of his earlier role as "George McFly" (not really), Crispin Glover twists that memory into a squirmy (if you hate rats) or cuddly (if you don't) film about sleeping with rodents and revenge. It was kinda hard to really get into this since the rats were adorable, even the giant ones. The director tries to get them to evoke menace and verminity - but when you have a close-up on one, the dramatic evil music moody in the background during a tense scene...and then it licks its whiskers. I'm sorry, I just go aww, even when it's chewing some guy's face off. Of note is Jackie Burroughs as Willard's horrifyingly creepy and scary mom. Yikes. This all makes for a good Outer Limits tv episode.

** out of *****

Soldier must protect the Navajo code in WW2.

There's certainly plenty of war action in the film - if you like tons of explosions and military scenes, this is a good bet to keep you entertained. The story is basically engaging, but still somewhat sappy and cliche, many events are stuff you've seen in most other war movies. Even the ending is rather hokey and throwaway. Nicholas Cage is a pile of misery throughout the film, almost to the point of incurring audience distaste. He never gets over his pouty depression. On average, it's a decent (and long - over 2 hrs) but not a standout war film.

*** out of *****

Pseudo-documentary about bird migration.

First, bear in mind that this is not a documentary. It never says it is. Watch the Making Of documentary on the DVD after the movie (which is almost as good as the movie itself) for the educational background. Aside from that, the film is a fantastic visual journey by many different types of migrating birds through gorgeous landscapes with brilliant cinematography. There's very little narration and the film moves at a druggedly relaxed pace. It doesn't hold back the dangers and downfalls of the trek, but at least it doesn't dwell on them - only to make the viewer aware that they exist. No good guys, bad guys, climax, or even a plot. It's just a very beautiful film.

**** out of *****

Agatha Christie court drama

Someone recommended this to me, but I can't remember who. Filmed in 1957 and based on a Agatha Christie play, it features a surprisingly funny curmudgeonly barrister in England who takes up a murder case. I usually don't like old films, but this one brought persistent laughs and intense court drama. I've developed a taste for those when they're good and this is one of the best. Very enjoyable characters and a somewhat different court setting, being in England. Very impressive and tricky ending, including a warning to theater patrons not to reveal the end to their friends. So I won't. :)

**** out of *****

There have been plenty of documentaries lately about intellectual competitions, such as Word Wars (Scrabble) and Spellbound (Spelling Bee), which benevolently and non-judgementally depict a remarkably narrow range of people with variations consisting of little more than the pursuit they obsessively follow. In this case, the film is about crosswords. The first half is a study of how the New York Times puzzle is put together along with interviews with the architects of the game, some of the best crossword puzzle solvers in the world, and various famous faces who partake as well. While this is surprisingly intriguing and well presented, the second half gets down to the real competition, bringing those top players together for the annual speed-solving championship in what is the picture-perfect image of happy fandom: a social oasis for people of like minds, featuring talent shows, costumes, and lifelong friendships - the same sort of thing you'd find at any convention around a concise subject matter. Of course, the end competition is fierce and features plenty of surprising twists, but who wins? It's worth watching to find out.

***** out of *****

Scrabble

If someone told you, "Hey, let's see a movie about Scrabble!", you'd probably pre-emptively yawn. Surprisingly (or unsurprisingly, depending how worldly you are), Scrabble has it's own ultra-fan base with books, clubs, tournaments, and lifestylers. A Scrabble lifestyler, according to the film, is someone who wake up, plays Scrabble, and goes to sleep. Maybe they've memorized the dictionary. They have no money and some significant emotional or physiological disorders. And that's where you notice the movie really goes off track. The creators follow the four extremist players around, focusing almost as much on their lives, personal hypocrisies, and failings as it does on actual Scrabble. It takes an MTV Real World approach which is totally unnecessary. I'm sure there were hundreds of other players who could've come off much better on film. While the movie is really interesting and gripping when it comes to the tournaments, the microscope on the players is far less than complimentary. It's worth it for the Scrabble, tho.

***1/2 out of *****

Both of these are part of the first Director's Label Series Box Set from Palm Pictures which also includes The Work of Director Spike Jonze (as well as a bonus DVD and several small books) which I reviewed separately several months back. These two DVDs are of the same makeup, featuring mainly music videos and a few short films as additional material. The Chris Cunningham disc is surprisingly the weakest of the box set, considering that the trailer for it drove me to acquire it. It's still visually impressive by all standards, but the content is both raucous and short, having the least amount of content of the three. Most of the media is for hard industrial or goth material that grates after a while, although offset by fascinating imagery that tends to be evenly creepy throughout the production. Polar opposite to Cunningham's freak-factor is Michel Gondry's fantastical and somewhat absurdist disc. Here, the videos and films are of a more fairytale, animated, and lighthearted nature. This volume made me smile a lot, and it helps that this disc has the most content on it. Most of the videos are whimsical and, while they don't tell stories as much as the Jonze ones do, they are more in the realm of magic tricks and smart visual illusions, laced with light humor. Adding in the Jonze disc, this full set is often a demonstration of the art form that short films and music videos really should be.

**** out of *****

Collection of Jonze's early work

This is the first video in a series (currently up to seven) that showcases the more eye-catching work of some unique film directors. Before Jonze went on to direct such movies as Adaptation and Being John Malkovitch, he was making music videos. Some of the tunes are recognizeable, such as Fatboy Slim and Daft Punk, but others are unspectacular and immediately forgettable. What you came for, however, are the videos. In almost every case, each one has a clear and specific gimmick. Filmed entirely backwards. Main character is an anthropomorphic dog. Christopher Walken dancing. All the characters are children. And so on. Some tell a story and most have a goofy or surreal sense of humor. While music videos today may be creatively bankrupt, until recently there was at least one man who still understood that they were short films that meant something. The DVD is double-sided and features some minor featurettes and behind-the-scenes docs on the B-side. Stick to the videos.

**** out of *****

Does it say something when, only a few days after seeing the movie, I can't even recall the title? This Bond film was particularly confusing and difficult to follow, aside from the increasingly large plot holes, cartoonishly overblown violence, and laughable script. We got lost several times trying to follow the storyline. Nearly every single line delivered is comic innuendo, turning the script into a laugh-a-minute joke fest. The bad guy, who feels no pain and desires to...something...wow, I can't even recall what the bad guy wanted to do because it really didn't matter (oh, yeah, something about redirecting oil through a preferred pipeline or whatever). Just action sequence after sequence, interrupted by silly and nearly needless love interests. At least it had Robbie Coltrane, who's entertaining to watch. Fun, but nearly beyond meaningless.

** out of *****

Imitating Rudolph Valentino

This romantic comedy featuring Gene Wilder taking on Rudolph Valentino to get his wife back is another Wilder-directed masterpiece. The comedy is only a little bit less than his earlier Sherlock Holmes work, involving a bit more crazy screaming and a few longer gaps of seriousness, but it's still true classic laughs. The female foil here is Carol Kane in an earlier, more subdued role than modern 80's and 90's moviegoers might be used to. We're also blessed with another performance by the always-outrageous Dom Delouise. I just can't get enough of him. This is very much a period piece, set in the early 1900's at the dawn of film, with excellent set designs. While the plot is clear, Wilder walks through this one in more of a haze, spending a lot of time wild-eyed and stunned. Nevertheless, watching him try to eat grapes through an arabian veil is so funny I couldn't breathe. Another must-see forgotten classic comedy great. They don't make them like this anymore.

**** out of *****