N

Idaho yokels and their lives

Take 'Revenge of the Nerds' and put it in Idaho. There, that's it. You've got Napoleon Dynamite. On one hand, it's got funny moments of slapstick. But in most cases, they're just painful, embarassing laughs at how truly dysfunctional the characters are. Is this a good idea - to develop social dysfunction as the new target? Rather than think of how ridiculous the characters were, I couldn't help but think how many people I know who embody parts of the behavior in this film who I don't dislike, but the film encourages me to deride. It made me look inward and both feel guilty and self-conscious. Then it didn't seem quite so funny.

** out of *****

Documentary on Grand Central Station

The expectation for this documentary was to get a top-to-bottom and inside-out exploration of all the nooks and crannies of Grand Central station. What you get instead is about thirty minutes of history, thirty minutes of hasty exploration, and thirty minutes of TERRORISM TERRORISTS 9/11 9/11 9/11!!! Apparently, that last bit is such a significant feature of the locale that the Whispering Walls, Oyster Bar, and the Kissing Room went completely unmentioned to make space dedicated to the police presence, danger to civilians, and the temptation the station presents as a target. While the other parts of the documentary were informative, including interviews with employees, FDR's secret passage, recent renovations, and an in-depth history, it was very disappointing to see so much disregarded just so Nat'l Geographic can squeeze some cheap drama out of the deal. Interesting for an hour, infuriating for thirty minutes.

**1/2 out of *****

Tornado fan makes tornado tank

Finally, a documentary about a real storm fan's adventures rather than snooty science! This one hour show focuses on a guy who likes tornados. A lot. He doesn't care (or know or understand) about the science. He built a tornado tank and he wants to drive it into a tornado. It's that simple. Sure, he hooks up with a science guy who handles all the science-y stuff, but the real fun is in the adventures of our blue-collar hero as he races around in a somewhat sketchy road-warrior type of vehicle, trying to find a twister to drive inside. Very down-to-earth, exuberant, and funny. One of the best tornado chase docs I've seen, or at least the most fun.

**** out of *****

Mildly creative detective story

The film's original billing made it looks like Tomb Raider with Nicholas Cage instead of Lara Croft. While it does appear that this is the intent they were trying to achieve, the action sequences leave a lot to be desired. The puzzle/detective parts of the film are pulled right from Indiana Jones and, while fun, seem a little forced, rushed and unnatural. The characters are cutouts and not particularly endearing, but not unlikeable either. The action, however, is anemic and seems like filler to keep the viewer's interest. Plenty of stunts and scenes that we've seen in other, better films. In all, it's a mediocre popcorn-muncher that seems a little formulaic and a little lazy.

**1/2 out of *****

Remember when it was satire?

This was our week for old 70's classics. Our first stop was Network which was an ahead-of-its-time satire(?)/morality play about ethical corruption in the corporate media. A lot of it is somewhat dry, there's plenty of dramatic dialogue without any actual events occurring - introspection without activity. The on-the-air monologue scenes are great, tho, and they're as poignant (and ironic) today as they were thirty years ago. The acting is also classic and intense, tho reminiscent of stage theater rather than cinema. Worthwhile to see in order to include it in your repertoire, but you'll need a tolerance for the 70s style.

***1/2 out of *****

Hollywood hoax gone wrong

This is one of those gentle comedy films that presents a quandary and makes lots of jokes around that quandary, and then ends. It's mildly entertaining, but otherwise totally forgettable. The single-minded humor is funny, but all the comedy revolves around the exact same joke. The characters are average, the situation is warmed-over, and the ending is somewhat anti-climactic. If you like films about hoaxes gone wrong, this would be a nice diversion, but definitely not a keeper. Its mediocrity is exemplified by how I can't think of anything else to write about it.

**1/2 out of *****

Bunnies terrorize miniature towns

Speaking of bad movies, let's go to the pet store and buy some bunnies. Then, get a bunch of railroad miniatures and film the bunnies running through them in slow motion. Get a crappy rabbit suit, smear red jam on people so it looks like a five year old designed the scenes of PG-rated carnage, and scream away. Lastly, get a bunch of actors to stiltedly read off some of the most laughably cliched lines. Oh yeah, and use the worst night-filter ever. Tada! Night of the Lepus. Basically, it alternates between pictures of bunnies hopping around in miniature scenery and scientists talking about dire consequences. Not scary in the slightest, predictable, and groaningly bad. Yes, I know this is supposed to be campy B-movie theatrics, but it's just decidedly pathetic. I laughed at, but not with. The trailer in the minimal extras was the icing on the cake. It's really as bad as everyone says, you don't need to waste your time finding out for yourself.

* out of *****

Brains!

We were lucky enough to get the unaltered original and not the 30th anniversary edition with the altered soundtrack, or the 90's remake. Nonetheless, the film is still showing its age. For a black & white low-budget 60's horror film, it still has a few scares in it, but otherwise the editing, dialogue, and acting leaves a bit to be desired. It's got a bit of a Blair Witch feel to it in that very little gets explained, even though this one gives the most in-depth detail of what's actually going on. The ending also fails to be particularly dramatically ironic. This may be the granddaddy of all zombie films, but you really have to appreciate the classics to get into it.

*1/2 out of *****

Pumpkin Jack wants to bring Christmas to Halloween Town.

At 75 minutes, this mostly felt like a Halloween tv special. Excellent artistic stop-motion animation and mild humor layered throughout. Definitely pure Tim Burton style shining through. I just wish the laughs were harder and the plot was thicker and less predictable. Nevertheless, the unique vision and clever design makes for eye-catching characters and scenery, but it would never hold up longer than its running time.

**1/2 out of *****

Priest vs Nazis

This german, subtitled film dramatizes the true story of a priest given a temporary leave from a WW2 concentration camp on the condition that he convince the church to join the reich. The main character is played with little narrative by a very visually striking actor, Ulrich Matthes. He staggers through the film on wounded feet with both a stunned and horrified visage, between both the church and the reich. While it's a sharp retelling, it's more a political event than a dramatic one - there's not much in the way of tension or threat. If you like the side-stories and the minutiae of the reich, this is an intriguing tale, but requires patience and attention to see it through, even at only 90 minutes.

*** out of *****

How long has it been since I saw a documentary on the conflict in Iraq? I don't recall offhand, but it's been a few years. Time for a refresher, and No End In Sight fits the fill perfectly. Including an overview all the way back to Bush #1, it spends much of its time in chapter-separated segments detailing everything that's happened up until about 6-12 months ago. Lacking narration, it leverages an equal number of talking heads with news clips and video footage to lend veracity to the facts presented. Almost no one high up agreed to be interviewed for the project, and it's obvious why since the one person who did gets cross-examined and not only thoroughly debunked, but also is shown to lie straight to the camera. While some of the video footage is harsh, including a lot of dead bodies and a few on-camera deaths, it manages to avoid crossing the line and turning away the viewer, but instead rivets them without becoming dull or plodding. The whole documentary is effective enough to make you want to shake your head in disbelief, or just hang it in shame. Probably the best Iraq overview doc I've seen so far.

****1/2 out of *****

Light alternative from the makers of Cube

The best way to describe this film is as a live-action cartoon for adults. It's definitely cartoonish, has elements of humor that can best be described as wacky comedy, but also includes a few visuals and situations that, while still clever and funny in tune with the film, are dark-humored enough to probably not be viable kiddie fare. Through a series of unfortunate mishaps, our protagonists find themselves in a flat, white plane of absolutely nothing at all. The opening of the movie details their arrival, the middle covers their exploration and adjustment, and the climax is the inevitable conflict that occurs when two guys are stranded alone in nothing. The personalities of the characters are extreme and may not be to everyone's tolerance, and the content may be a bit empty, no pun intended, for someone looking for a richer experience. The ending is also not entirely satisfying, depending on your point of view. But if you've seen Cube, which was written and directed by the same people who made this film, you will notice more than a few parallels in design and concept. Personally, this was right up my alley and probably a good film to show people who can't decide what they want to watch.

**** out of *****

Documentary on fireworks

Sure, you've seen them on the 4th of July and New Years, but how much do you really know about them? What makes the big stars? The circular ones? Why do some scream and others bang? Haven't you wanted to see what the launching platform looks like? Well, I did - and now I know. Lots of neat things to learn about fireworks, although it focuses a little too exclusively on the Boston Pops show. Plenty of in-the-lab science and a lot of history. There's still some info I would like to have seen covered, like the tiny fireworks you buy from catalogs or a more thorough overview of the more exotic displays, but in general it's decently comprehensive. A bit drudgingly narrated, but that's just NOVA.

***1/2 out of *****

Seahorses!

Let's start by saying that seahorses are awesome. They are never unstylish and come in a variety of colorful designs. Alas, they are notoriously hard to keep as aquarium pets, so one has to either observe them in the wild or watch documentaries about them on tv. This particular one-hour doc segued between three topics. The first fifteen minutes were the best part, detailing the lives, activities, and different types of seahorses, including a regrettably brief mention of the leafy seadragon, one of the coolest of seahorses. Following this was a bit of an obsessive expose on the seahorse's love life, featuring highly detailed filming and explanation. The second half of the program was almost entirely dedicated to seahorse conservation, showing island natives, Japanese markets, and people harvesting seahorses off plants. As important as seahorse conservation is (poaching and illegal harvesting has made them endangered in many parts of the world), this seemed unbalanced in favor of people rather than the doc's subject. Most interesting for conservationists, but less so and a bit frustrating for the seahorse fanatic.

*** out of *****

Pseudo Jeckyl & Hyde remake with Eddie Murphy

I guess this would be considered a "family" movie for urban audiences. Often obnoxious, including numerous adult jokes, it still has the undertones of being sweet. Murphy is his best when he's Professor Klump, being an honest, nice person in a screamingly incoherent and often unpleasant world. His alter ego, Buddy Love, is agonizingly reminiscent of Murphy's early stand-up work that makes it easy to pigeonhole the antagonist role. It's worth it for a mild diversion, but not much more.

**1/2 out of *****

Same as above, but with more emphasis on the family.

In the second go-round, you can visibly see the film losing its grip on the original target. It begins to feel much more like a Police Academy movie from the 80s with the characters taking much more stereotype roles and the film running a more predictable plot. Still, one redeemable facet is Murphy's portrayal of the entire Klump family, which manages to retain some of the niceness of the first film, even if the family is relatively warped and often unintelligible.

** out of *****