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Early independent Gilliam film

The similarities in the casting and set between Monty Python's Holy Grail and Jabberwocky are so blatant that one would not be remiss in guessing that the latter is a sequel of the former. While led by Michael Palin and involving various extras from Grail, this is actually an independent production by Terry Gilliam. The humor is less rapid-fire comedic madcap and there's a notable amount of old-skool gore (how did this get rated PG?). The atmosphere of the film is seriously bleak and probably a very accurate portrayal of the middle ages. There's also an actual story, but it's buried beneath the somewhat humdrum dialogue between characters and abrupt scene changes. It's probably quite an acquired taste, but if you're into these genres, then this is still a very funny movie. Is that the holy hand grenade that the King carries around all the time?

***1/2 out of *****

Inexplicably goofy Friday the 13th sequel

Take two parts moderate-budget sci-fi tv show, two parts standard-level palatable gore, add one out-of-context killer, add plenty of cannon fodder, a liberal shake of action/adventure, a pound of suspension of disbelief, and finally three cups of self-satire, punmanship, and stupid, giggly zaniness. I should've seen this in the theater. The production values are on the level of Farscape or Stargate SG1, often obviously some cheap set and a lot of sub-par space and futuristic FX, but the humor is right out of the best parts of X-Files and Buffy combined. I wish all horror movies were made like this - it makes them so much easier and more enjoyable to watch. The gore stayed at standard horror levels without going way over the top (see Ghost Ship, Final Destination 2). I laughed, I cheered, I talked back at the movie, I said 'Don't go in there!' and 'Don't touch that!'. The simulated Crystal Lake sequence was *hysterical*! I'd almost buy the movie if I knew I could get people to watch it.

*** out of *****

Shark

One of those classic films I simply never got around to sitting down and seeing. I was very happy to be pleasantly surprised by the film, which happens to be just as much a comedy as it is a horror movie, the best kind! The characters are very memorable and deeply fleshed out. The total lack of modern urban attitude that permates films today makes this film immensely watchable. It effectively treads both sides of the scale, being at times hysterically funny and horrifyingly unpleasant. Great utilization of dread and foreshadowing. The movie jumps right into the story as well instead of dawdling around setting things up. The current DVD version is remastered to the point that the film could be mistaken for new if it wasn't for the attire and hairstyles of the era.

****1/2 out of *****

Second verse, same as the first...

Here's where I'm gonna get the most complaints. I like the Jeepers Creepers franchise so far. It's a self-mocking, hilarious, action-packed, relatively gore-free parody along the lines of the Scream films. It's a big, fluffy, giggly popcorn tosser with an absolute hoot of a bad guy. This time out, the target is a whole school bus full of kids. You're neck deep in only 15 minutes, bam, gothic horror, there you are. The characters are throwaway and laughable, but that's the point. Yell at the characters! Tell them they're morons! Don't touch it! Keep running! Bet she's gonna fall down - ut, there she goes, dead meat. It's fun and stupid and knows it. I already bought it. :)

***1/2 out of *****

Modern ventriloquism

You almost never see anyone doing ventriloquism these days. There's puppeteering and such, but when you hear about the art of throwing one's voice, the references are always back to the golden age of radio and television. Jeff Dunham, the "main character" of this 75 minute stand-up routine, brings the talent back onto the modern stage. His act is split up into five parts, starting with his own and followed by four puppets of increasingly funny caliber. The first fifteen minutes of the show are somewhat slow and dumb, and it takes about thirty minutes for things to ramp up to the point where you know it's going to be good, albeit seriously politically incorrect. By the halfway point, we were laughing aloud as he delved into audience participation and ad lib. The true gem, tho, is his final character, Peanut, who is breathlessly hysterical and really demonstrates the man's skill. One of the rare, unique comedy acts that really had me going. Just wish it had started out as well as it ended. I hope he does more shows because this one's going on my shelf.

**** out of *****

I dread writing this review for fear of hurting the feelings of some of my friends who might read it. I don't know how much spin the documentary puts on the subject matter, either through creative editing or omission, but there is no narration to color what is presented, and the words of the event's organizer are her own. The film watches the workings of an evangelical Christian children's camp over the course of a summer session, after a first half hour visiting the families of kids who will be attending. In all fairness, the camp is mainly the capstone on a process begun by the parents themselves. By the time they reach the camp, the pre-teen boys and girls are already deeply indoctrinated into their faith. Once arrived, the schedule of learning can really only be described as "programming". By means of shame, humiliation, and threats of eternal damnation, nine, ten, and eleven-year olds are taught to proselytize, preach, and primarily become political activists, acting as warriors for injecting evangelism into the United States government. The children meet with Ted Haggard who preaches anti-gay rhetoric to them (and 6-12 months later is banished from his church for a homosexual affair). By the end of the film, we see the young graduates led by the camp's counsellors to Washington, DC, where they protest abortion before the Supreme Court and hand out evangelical literature on street corners. But, by far, the most damning statements in the entire film come at the very end, when the camp's founder states on public radio that her goal is to subvert Democracy and replace it with Christian evangelism. These people are dangerous to children and America. It's only small comfort that reaction to this documentary forced the camp to close.

**** out of *****

Whiny hick makes good

I really didn't want to write this review. I'd rather have just said something like "This requires no explanation", but everything deserves its fair shake. Unfortunately, Joe Dirt deserves to be shaken between the jaws of a rottweiler like a rawhide chew toy until it disintegrates in shreds and slobber. The film plays out as if written by a five year old. There is no continuity and scenes change from one to the next without any semblance of coherence. As for David Spade, he simply cannot act! He reads his lines like he's in a grade school play. Nobody in the film is remotely likeable There are nearly no laughs, even for the poo jokes. It's amazing that Christopher Walken and Dennis Miller (well, maybe not Miller) lent their faces to this. It's mean, dumb and humorless. I'm ashamed to have watched it. Metacritic rates this film a 20% after 26 reviews and it ranks as their 110th (that high?) worst rated film. Completely accurate.

* out of *****

Halfhearted old pseudo-Python tv special

This one-hour video comes from a UK tv-special from the early Monty Python days featuring many of that cast and a few uninspiring others. It's essentially a series of skits interspersed between John Cleese's deadpan monologue. At least three of the skits are direct copies or predecessors of ones that appear in Flying Circus. Two or three of them are quite funny, but the rest are absolutely humorless or been-there-seen-that. The production values are extremely low with line flubs, set mishaps, camera goofs, and video glitches throughout. It's really only good for die-hard Cleese or Python fans, all others will merely find the title ironic.

** out of *****

Rowan Atkinson does Naked Gun

If you've seen the Naked Gun movies, then you've seen this film. If you don't like Rowan Atkinson then you'll hate this film. That's pretty much it. Slightly above the comedy level of one-liners that came from the Zucker brothers, this is basically Mr. Bean in M16 (or whatever the British agency is called). I happen to like his comedy, so I found it moderately enjoyable, if highly fluffy. It's also nice to see an all-ages film without poop and fart jokes every few seconds.

**1/2 out of *****

N/A

A little preachy, a little logically flawed, but otherwise a very good Reader's Digest-style drama. The director was obviously VERY desperate to make his audience cry, pushing several scenes far past their productive time limit into uncomfortable territory. Not quite the sermon as I'd heard the film talked up to be, but it definitely had it's message. Still, I'd like to know how the police surrounded the hospital without his wife knowing.

**1/2 out of *****

Sad story of a valiant tiger trying to return a lost boy to his village.

Such a tragic Saturday morning cartoon! A crazy jungle bear kidnaps a boy from his village and our hero, Shere Khan, tries to rescue him and bring him safely back to his family. A friendly snake helps out as well, who is also very funny (Best supporting actor!). Shere Khan is totally smooth and has the best lines. He's smart, sexy, and charismatic! The tiger desperately tries to track down Mowgli to protect him and safely return him to his family, despite vultures voiced by Phil Collins, scary song & dance numbers (although "Wild" was actually really good), and Haley Joel *ack* Osment. Tragedy unfortunately strikes when the ungrateful boy tries to kill Shere Khan for no good reason at all! Bring your tissues *sniff*.

** out of *****